We are each other’s patient & each other’s doctor.  The way you fall in love is getting into the trenches of life, solving every problem, & facing every enemy.  I’ve never met a great marriage where they didn’t go through hell together and come out on the other side TOGETHER!  You are going to go thru worse, & sicker, & poorer.  But the reason for divorce isn’t sex or money or communication.  It’s disappointment.  “I wanted a fairy tale and THIS is what I got?  I could have had ‘happily ever after’.  I wanted something better; I wanted someone better & I got YOU?!?”  And the devil says, “That’s right.  You picked ‘door #1!’”

Realize the power of your own words. Criticize. Nag.  Sarcasm.  Instead we can use our words to heal.  When a woman honors a man it heals him.  When she fulfills his sexual needs it honors him.
A woman’s deepest hurt comes from dishonor and being devalued. But when a man cherishes her and treats her gently it heals her.  Value her & respect the things she has to say.  The affection that comes in marriage comes from the fact that you healed me.

Don’t allow disappointment & unrealistic expectations destroy your marriage.  Accept, love, honor, and HEAL one another.  The best is yet to come!

The devil plants so many misconceptions about marriage in your mind about the opposite sex so when you do get married you are disappointed & you begin to reject the very person you were meant to heal. Satan’s plan is to get you to be his partner in destroying another human being.

God is the opposite.  He is a healer & redeemer.  He wants you to partner with Him in healing the people around you. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.  BUT be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”  Why trouble?  Because we all messed up.

Tomorrow I will talk about how when a man VALUES & NOURISHES his wife that it heals her.  And how when a woman RESPECTS & SATISFIES her husband it heals him.

You have GOT to know this to be successful in Marriage:  (run-on sentence warning) We all have hurts from our past, quirks in our personalities, & ignorance regarding the opposite sex that only marriage will fix & it will take years for the process to be completed and NO ONE is the exception!

Let me tell you something about your soul mate: they are messed up!   Let me tell you something about Prince Charming:  he snores & his feet stink, & he passes gas.  You find the best person you can but they are messed up.  It doesn’t matter how well they behave themselves before you get married, once you get married you will see how messed up they are.  And let me tell you why you are such a good match for them: Because YOU are messed up too! 

Marriage is a healing journey when you enter into it properly.
When you do marriage right it heals you; when you do it wrong it damages you.
You will either destroy each other or heal each other depending on whether you are working with God or the devil. (They both want access to  your marriage.)

4.  Real men expect a greater reward – God’s reward.

Adam was not satisfied with the life God was promising him. Unfortunately, he thought that he was going to beat God’s best for him, and so he ate from the tree God told him not to.  Every man since him has discovered that as we try to gain something better than what God already has to give us, we always fall short.

Jesus Christ knew that if He stayed the course, He would get all that God had for Him.  The writer of Hebrews implores us to “run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus who, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Jesus endured a horrendous death because He expected a greater reward – God’s reward.  He looked through the difficulty of the moment and expected the reward: the joy of knowing He had accomplished His Father’s purposes for Him, eternal life for all who believe, and an eternity in glory at the right hand of His Father.  This is what motivated Him, and this is what motivates a real man as well.  Christ offers this endurance to all who trust in Him.

Our families need us to be real men: one who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects the greater reward – God’s reward!

3. Real men lead courageously.

Men were created to lead, but when Adam sinned, his leadership failed as well.  Notice that Jesus led where Adam didn’t.  He set direction all through His life and called others to follow Him.  A man needs to have enough confidence, enough substance, enough weight in his life that when he’s around others, he can call them to follow him either in word or action.

Jesus had that kind of substance.  He led by example by caring for, loving, and protecting those He called to follow Him.  He said, “I am the good shepherd, and I lay down My life for My sheep.”  He also said, “I have come that you might have life, and have it abundantly.”  His words always led to action.  He did lay down His life for His followers, and He did (and does) give those He leads an abundant life full of purpose, meaning, and hope.  Jesus led courageously, and so too will a real man.  Jesus made COURAGE available to us in Him!

2. Real men accepts responsibility.

A Yale sociologist made this observation as he studied the trends of humanity throughout time: “For whatever reason, men have a natural tendency to avoid social responsibility.”

In the garden, the first Adam fell into passivity and then – to some degree – passed on the tendency to shirk responsibility to every man.  But then Jesus came along and displayed a better way: the way of accepting responsibility. Jesus said that his food (his life) was to do the will of God; to accomplish His work.  And when the work became incredibly difficult to do, even then he didn’t shirk His responsibility.  Before going to the cross, He prayed: “Father, if it’s possible, let this (responsibility to die for mankind) pass from Me; Yet not as I will, but your will be done.”  Jesus accepted responsibility, and so too will a real man.  Jesus made this new nature part of the New Creation in Him!

1. Real men reject passivity.

In Genesis 3 we read, “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and it was a delight to the eyes; and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.”  A lot of people think that Adam was off somewhere totally out of sight, doing what needed to be done – being a man – but that’s not the case.  Adam was standing there watching the whole event.   Rather than doing something about the situation, he just stood there!  To make matters worse, he took a bite of the apple too!  He went passive.  He absolutely failed as a man.

However, the second Adam, Jesus Christ, rejected passivity. Philippians 2 says: “Jesus emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death on a cross.”

Real manhood is rejecting passivity and saying, “I’ll do it. I’ll step forward, I’ll accept responsibility at home, with my wife, with my children, in my community, at my job, and at my church.”  Real manhood is becoming like Jesus who rejected passivity and did what needed to be done when it needed to be done.  Dads, husbands, this must be our motto! Our mantra: “I can be counted on to do what’s right.”

This Sunday morning you will hear about one of the most amazing, heart touching miracles!  There is ALWAYS hope!  My dear friend Pastor Hal Hardy will speak both service this Sunday.

The miracle that happened to them will ignite hope in your heart.  There is always hope: For your marriage, your kids, your family, your health for your life…

Do NOT miss this Sunday!

Pastor Kevin

Message from: Stephanie Massey
Sent to: 75 Day Family Challenge at Harvest Church

Good Morning!

Proverbs 17:9 (New Living Translation)
9 Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Proverbs 17:14 (New Living Translation) 14 Starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.

Today’s blog is focused on strengthening Marriage. I encourage everyone to not let the sun go down without reading this blog and decide Divorce is not an option!

So today’s challenge is for you to take the word “divorce” out of your vocabulary. If it is something you and your spouse has dealt with, then go to God as a couple and ask for His forgiveness and grace to move forward.

Radical Challenge –
If you have had a problem with this, write the word divorce down on a piece of paper and go in your backyard with a match and “divorce paper” in hand to burn. As a couple thank God for His Grace, Mercy, Love, & Wisdom to move on then burn the paper. This would be an outward symbol of your hearts change to put divorce in the fire not your marriage. Let God make your marriage work. Trust me…… It can get better every day!!!!!

A research study showed that 86% of people who were unhappily married in the late 1980’s yet opted to stay in the marriage, indicated when interviewed five years later that they were happier. Three-fifths of the formerly unhappily married couples rated their marriages as either “very happy” or “quite happy” (Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter, Vicki Courtney)

I know personally of a few couples that this is true for.

Building My Family Strong!
Stephanie Massey
stephanie@harvestmobile.com

http://harvestmobile.com/children/75-day-challenge/strengthening-mariage/decide-once-and-for-all-that-quitting-your-marriage-is-not-an-option-by-adrienne-cooley/

“No one can serve two masters.  You will love the one and hate (or resent) the other.”  Broken focus destroys.

If you think you can divide your loyalties you are mistaken.  You’ll resent the demands God puts on you.   Either live for God or don’t. There is no middle ground!

Now, bring that over into marriage.  “Oh I love my wife, I just don’t try to please her.”

When our hearts are distracted how do we get the passion back?

1.     Remember – you usually do the right things in the beginning of a relationship.  First date:  you were polite, sensitive, gentleman, drove carefully.  You fell in love because your standards were so high.  You worked hard and were mannerly.  *Many of you today would not fall in love the way you treat each other now.  You are not your best.  Be your best for them.

2.    Repent – stop blaming other people and circumstances for your lack of passion.  Take personal responsibility. Stop blaming your spouse and you change!  I’ve never counseled a couple and only one of them was the problem.

Your attitude should be, “I’ll do anything to restore the relationship.  No bargaining.  I’ll drop friends, come home from the office, change jobs, whatever it takes!“  That’s the level of commitment it takes to have the marriage you’ve dreamed of.

Because you were giving your best – you fell in love.
Re-establish the standard you had at the beginning.
Invest the time and energy.
Return the treasure to the chest and the passion will follow.
Passion and vitality will explode!

Rev. 2:1-7 (my paraphrase)
The Promise – Give me your time and energy and you get to eat of the Tree of LIFE!  But if you remain lethargic I will remove My anointing from your life because you are bad advertising – and I am a great God.