Aug 26
“The mouth of the righteous is a well of life… the lips of the righteous feed many.” Pro. 10:11, 19-21, 32 If the people around you were dependent on YOUR words for nourishment would they be dying of malnutrition or thriving?
Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are like a honey comb: sweetness to the soul and healing to the bones.” Words have healing potential. (But it takes humility to speak them.) Husbands often determine to have a bitter evening because they refuse to speak sweet words to their wives. Children can live in insecurity because a parent refuses to affirm. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
Let me establish the importance of a Culture of Encouragement:
Some would say, “Well, you can’t be real… it’s hype.”
No, we can speak into sick things and turn them to health!
We can speak into dying things and turn them to life!
We can speak into diminishing things and cause them to grow.
Not empty words but genuine words spoken from a genuine heart out of a commitment to contribute life wherever we go! Especially to the ones we say we love the most: our family! Your family will prosper even as your family’s soul prospers!
This will work in your marriage, in your family with your children; at the office.
Sadly, many people are trying to outlive words that were spoken over them years ago that have had lasting impact negatively.
We can do the same thing with OUR words – positively! You can change your family’s!
This is the difference between a healthy family with a healthy soul vs a family with a bitter soul from things that happened in the past.
Job had “comforters”… Let’s never be one that speaks words that shrivel but rather encourage. Good managers know that there’s a correlation between the manager’s behavior and employee performance, so let us not be surprised at the connection between parent behavior and child “performance.” There is a LARGE connection between your behavior, conversation, & words & your spouse’s “behavior” too.
And finally, one of the BEST places your family can hear words of encouragement, other than from YOU, is in a life-giving church! TAKE your family to church!
pk
Aug 24
Acts 4:36 says there was a guy named Joseph, but his nick-name was “Son of Encouragement” or Barnabas. Encouragement means “called along side to help; a strengthening presence. To put courage into.” You could say “INcourage.”
Romans 12:8 says that encouragement or exhortation is even a spiritual gift. Exhort – to cheer, to advise. To incite to good deeds by using words, counsel or advice.
How do you use words in your home? To cheer & to advise? Or to jeer & connive?
Words are powerful. They are containers. Your children need us parents to “cheer them on to good deeds” with words of counsel that strengthen them. Husbands need wives to “cheer” for them! Wives need husbands to communicate value to them.
Many families’ greatest problem is the words they use & therefore the atmosphere they create in their homes. They are “hung by the tongue!”
“The words of the Lord are pure words; like silver tried in a furnace of the earth, refned seven times.” Psalm 12:6 Truth & sincerity are extremely valuable because it is so rare. Let this describe the language in your relationships. Many people are deceivers, liars, flatters… Trying to manipulate their way. But you be a person who speaks the truth in love.
“Do not withhold good (words) from those to whom it is due.” Proverbs 3:27 & 28
Our spouse & kids NEED encouraging words. It’s like oxygen to the soul. Many families are suffocating & we have the power to breathe life into them!
So what does a Culture of Encouragement look like? It looks like Acts 9:31 “So the church (family) throughout (the region) enjoyed peace, being built up; & going on in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it continued to increase.”
Put courage in your family. Your kids will flourish! Your wife will shine like a star! Your husband will feel there is nothing he can’t do! Your family will continue to enjoy peace & increase!
Aug 20
Finally, verify your observations about your potential man.
Don’t get married after 6 weeks. Mr. Wonderful may not be as wonderful as you think if you’ve only know him for 3 months. *You need to make sure what you are seeing is correct & accurate & consistent. How? TIME. You can do great things for a short period of time with talent. But if you don’t have CHARACTER to go with your talent you will only go so far. Does he cave in under pressure? i.e.: You can’t use a short level to discover if a 16 ft long 2×4 is level. Verifying doesn’t change anything it just reveals the truth. This isn’t fishing: “I’ve got him hooked! Reel him in as fast as you can!” If you lose him he probably wasn’t worth having.
The thing that makes a woman beautiful is her self-confidence. God WANTS you to have a good man! “But you don’t know the men I have to work with!” What about Isaac? (Gen. 24) God knows the longings of your heart. HE has better things in mind for you than you do for yourself.
Read back over this week’s blog posts. If you have a single lady friend tell her to read these. It will be a great blessing to her!
DO these things and you will hit the Jackpot! 
pkc
Aug 19
Ladies: Is he a Dreamer or a Schemer? Joseph was a dreamer. He was made a slave. But he became the TOP slave! “Top Slave” wasn’t his childhood dream but he excelled at it & became the best! He was DILIGENT while he WORKED where he was. “I’m gonna make millions$!” Always taking shortcuts, figuring some angle, instead of consistently producing… Sooner or later some dude with a consistent income comes along & flirts with her… You know what happens.
How does he relate to his family? Respectful or Dominated? Eph. 5 says “the 2 shall become 1 flesh.” To be a good provider & husband he must “LEAVE HOME.” If he’s breaking dates or radically changing plans to please his momma then you say, “I think more highly of myself than to subject myself to this. Once you decide I’m more important than ‘them’ call me.” *Parents should not interfere with their adult kids! If you see this as a pattern: run!
Don’t pick a man who falls a part in a time of trouble. Look for a man who can stand. YOU CANNOT DRAW FROM YOUR WIFE WHAT ONLY YOU CAN GET FROM GOD! Col. 2:10 “you are complete IN HIM.” Does he know how to lean on the Lord?
What’s his family philosophy? Does he expect you to work when the kids come? Do you agree on discipline? Do you see self-sacrifice in him? If not – if he is the ‘center of his universe’ right now then you or Jesus never will be.
Finally, Verify Your Observations.
Do these things and you will hit the Jackpot!
pkc
Aug 18
I wouldn’t hire a guy based on how he makes me feel when we’re together but does he have any skills? Is he qualified? For starters: Does he have his own relationship with Christ? Salvation or GAL-vation? Did he start coming to church because of YOU or Jesus? If they DO have a relationship with God it will show. If they don’t, that will show too. Just don’t be so “dumb in love” that you miss it.
Make sure your beliefs are compatible. “You don’ have to go to church to be a good Christian.” DUMP HIM! Ladies, Don’t undervalue spiritual compatibility. Once you have kids it becomes a BIGGER deal.
Does he have a J-O-B? Has he had 14 jobs in 2 ½ years? Is he a quitter? (When you quit you short-circuit your reward! BE A FINISHER.) Part of being a finisher means you to make decisions not based on what you feel but what is right.
Pro. 24:27 says, “Prepare your outside work, Make it fit for yourself in the field; and afterward build your house.”
In Hebrew culture you couldn’t just take the new wife into your room but into your OWN house. But BEFORE you even THINK about building the house “Prepare the field.” Get a career. Kisses & hugs are not the glue you think it is. Once MasterCard comes a-knocking your feelings change. Marriages are held together NOT by feelings & emotions but GOOD DECISIONS. God didn’t even give Adam a woman (EVE) until AFTER He had given him a job!
Aug 17
You don’t always get treated the way you want to be treated; you do yourself no favors when you let people run over you & treat you poorly.
NO relationship can thrive when one party runs over the other. Again: your self-image determines how you are treated. Not angry; just insistent: “CHRIST DIED for ME! I am VALUABLE!”
Get full of God’s Word: It’s the Word of God that changes lives!
The devil wants you to be desperate. Desperate makes you take risks. How do you over come that? Look to God, His Word, His Spirit, His people. And let me insert here: yes it’s important to go to a life-giving church. 
pk
Aug 16
Low self-esteem is a guarantee that you will be treated poorly for the rest of your life. And you will not overcome the negative forces that want to destroy your life by being militant or defiant but by your relationship with God & therefore your right-kind-of-self-image. If you don’t have a VITAL connection with Christ then I can guarantee misery in your relationships long-term.
Some girls grow up with a reassuring father & want to choose a man like dad. Others have never had the honor & love of a dad so they are drawn to ANY “man” that shows them attention so they are often taken advantage of. If you don’t have good self-esteem you are going to make a bad choice. Period.
1. Fortify Your Self-esteem: God made animals in pairs but man alone, because your relationship with God alone is to be enough to make you complete. You don’t have to have a boyfriend to be complete. THIS is the foundation of ALL successful, meaningful relationships: “You can be complete if you have a relationship with God alone.”
You need to define & discover your self-esteem IN CHRIST.
Many are afraid to face reality with out substances or money or sports or a car.
But if you want a healthy self-image you must derive that from Christ.
Col. 3:1-3 says, “If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”
Ladies – you may be looking for what you lack in a relationship but you will never find it until you 1st find it in Christ. Jesus IS the Great Equalizer!
Your ability to see yourself in Christ will determine what you allow to control you. You will be treated the way you see yourself. Define how you will be treated! Write it down. “Where there is no vision My people perish.” Proverbs 29:18
Aug 15
I’ll be giving PRICELESS advice to all the single ladies this coming week on my blog. They will post Monday thru Friday around 4:30 so… Get the word out! Telephone, Telegraph, Tell-a-woman!
Enjoy!
pkc
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